It’s tough to say “no” to some people and those of us who want to be civil or not start conflict look for more ways to say “no” without actually doing so. This calls for one thing and one thing only, using the right words and actions to get the other person or people to just realize you’re not interested.
1.) Smile and walk away
Yes, the tried and true way to say no is to just smile and walk away. People are hesitant to do this simple thing because they’re worried someone will get angry, however it works and the person or persons who are either annoying you or being persistent will either get it or not but after a few seconds they will. You’re taking yourself out of the picture and they don’t want to stand or sit there looking stupid talking to themselves. It doesn’t matter what the emotional state of the other person is, they can be angry, sad, whatever, you’re not interested in them or what they’re saying or doing and blurting out a resounding “no” would send them over the edge.
2.) Be courteous but firm
If you’re embroiled in a conversation or action where you just can’t get up and walk away from someone you might just try the strong and silent approach. Let them ramble on without you returning any acknowledgment. A good and stern stare at the person will realize to them they’ve not had an affect on you. As they try to elicit some reaction they’ll realize they’ve made a fool of themselves or overstepped their boundaries and will gradually slide off and probably apologize. Remember, be courteous, don’t get harsh, just be cool.
3.) Point to other alternatives
If a person is trying to convince or coerce you like say in a member of the opposite sex trying to get your attention and you’re not interested, just bring up other alternatives that slowly but surely guide them to other alternatives of thought. There they are nagging you about who you are and where you come from and they’re practically drooling at the fangs. You point out that you’re interested in someone who has three Harvard degrees in astrophysics or something like that. Since no one on Earth has that, they’ll either believe you or realize you’re being polite and getting them to think about things. Same thing goes for people nagging you for money. They may mean well but are being a pain. There they are telling you about the puppy rescue fund and how you can contribute. You just stay cool and talk about cats, penguins, the diminishing buffalo. They’re there to get some money and you’re not doing it but you’re throwing so much at them that they can’t latch onto something to use. They’ll soon get the message and move on.
4.) Agree until it hurts
This way will drive a person nuts but they’ll soon realize that you’re just being polite and that they’re really being a pain. Just agree to points in their conversation that have nothing to do with their main point you don’t agree with. You’ll see them either start giggling and realize what’s going on or they’ll just wander away. There they are talking about getting you to join the local bowling club at Pine St. and all you keep talking about is how Pine St. was a great place to grow up on. You never mention bowling or focus on joining the club or whatever. They’ll soon get the picture and move on.
5.) Start mentioning the news
Again, diverting their attention is a good way to say “no” without doing so. Someone strikes up a bizarre or intrusive conversation or tries to sell you something remember, they are trying to get something from you. You’re not about to do that so you instead give them everything they don’t want. It’s like they’re at an apple tree but can only find oranges. Sooner or later they’ll give up and a funny way to do this is to point out stories in the news. Things like the latest political nonsense, religious upheaval, sports, anything other than what they’re interested in you about. It may take a while for them to catch on but they will.
6.) Offer something else
Another way to say “no” without saying “no” is to offer the person or persons something else. There they are pestering you for some object, sales item, or social thing and you just focus their attention on things available that convey the message that you’re not interested. After a few bites they’ll realize you’re just being polite and will cut bait.
Again, for some of us it is difficult to say “no” and in some cases impossible. People are so touchy that if they offer you a dish to eat and you don’t care for any they feel so insulted that history has shown people going to war over. Someone who is attracted to you just won’t stop and saying “no” right out could crush them and turn them antagonistic and perhaps even violent. You’ve got to stand your ground and it’s not always a good idea not to say “no”. Our cultures are so diverse that the rejection of a person can lead to any number of negative results but you still have to stand your ground or people will run roughshod all over you.
Standing your ground but being polite are what are required here. Careful study of the person or persons and what they want will allow you to keep your cool and let them down with candor and effectiveness. No one has the right to dominate you and you’re obliged to be a civil person and using the approaches above they should allow you to simmer down a potentially hot issue. You’re not committed to acquiesce to anyone pestering you but you do have recourse and it doesn’t have to be a challenge nor chore.