An emotional manipulator is a person who gets his or her way using your efforts by making you their emotional target. You may start thinking you should protect that vulnerable little creature with your life but it’s probably just how effortless the manipulation is. In fact, you need to protect yourself! Here are 7 ways to dodge the bullets of these emotional manipulators like a pro:
1. If it doesn’t make sense, don’t buy it!
Remember the last time she DIDN’T forget your birthday because of some ‘stresses’ that she was trying to ‘not bother you with’? Do you think you can ever get over the guilt you felt when he was a little disappointed to miss the 5th ‘Only guys’ night out’ of the week? Emotional manipulators are champions at playing the victim. They’re feeding off of your strength to compromise, but you’re wiser than that!
2. Spotting guilt mongers!
You should feel guilty about opening up and not opening up, needing him and not needing him, being available for her and not available for her! Anything you do is just an immature, selfish act! In such a situation, let them find someone worthy of them while you make your way out of the loop of going on testing your own sincerity.
3. They’re weird diplomats
Did they ask you to go out of your way for them? ‘Umm… no’. Did they look like they’d want to? ‘Well…’ These people will never ask for anything straight, so that you don’t ask for anything either! But while they can pretend to miss out on being there for you, they know you’ll not hold a grudge and do your part anyway. Be sharp to break this loop.
4. They’re always in the sorriest condition!
Whatever you’ve suffered, the emotional manipulator has seen all that and more. Right when you’ve decided all this is getting too and you deserve better, the manipulator is there, standing with a heavier load. Once again, it’s your turn to be the caring support and relief and you just cannot bring yourself to leave! Probably you were being too selfish yet again.
5. When you’re not much more than just a resource
You are his ‘best friend’ the day before the test and after that, not as exciting to be around as soccer or the hottest girl in school. She cancelled her plans with you to go on this suddenly arranged shopping plan! Of course, you can tag along with her if you carry her stuffs around. If you still like this type of ungrateful people, you should reevaluate your self-esteem. This low self-esteem issue is more often than not, planted on your mind externally by these manipulators than a negativity coming from within you. You can get rid of it the moment you spot it.
6. Making you feel you’re the one
All those “you’re so mature, so kind, and understanding!” suddenly start falling in place. You have started believing your life is all about making things convenient for that significantperson. So what if they just played a little part in giving you the idea? It’s all in YOUR head after all! Now that you’re saving some of that kindness for yourself, funny how you’re not that mature and understanding anymore. Trust your gut and you will be on your way.
7. Drawing lines
It sometimes feels like she’s leading you on and the next moment, she’s purity personified! He promised you your dream world… and also convinced you it’s far beyond your reach! It’s almost like being trolled by a series of mirages, this is where you should draw the line. By this point your judgment of yourself is more polluted by him than you think it is. Don’t go out of your way to prove yourself to these people. Have faith in yourself because you deserve and are capable of getting better.